Bullying is in the headlines on a daily basis recently. Around 1 in 5 kids aged 10-17 admits to bullying other children 'frequently'. And at least a third of kids admit to bullying other children 'sometimes'. That means there's a pretty good chance that my kids and your kids are doing some of the bullying some of the time.

A recent study presented at the Pediatric Academic Societies (PAS) annual meeting in the past few days shows that parents can be THE ones to make a big difference in preventing their children from becoming a bully - and it's not through making demands, lecturing, punishing, threatening, or 'bullying' their kids out of being bullies.


This same study indicated that children are more likely to be bullies if their parents frequently feel angry with them or feel their child bothers them a lot. It is probably no surprise that children with an emotional, developmental or behavioral problem are more likely to be bullies.

Mums who are not coping are most likely to frequently have those negative feelings and emotions toward their kids. The research found that children whose mothers report less anything than very good mental health were also more likely to be bullies.

As a community we are becoming less tolerant of bullying. We don't like it when someone uses their size or strength (or their mind) to coerce, threaten, and victimise others.


Ironically, we - as adults - often use precisely the same strategy to our children when they do things we don't like. In our efforts to 'control' our children, parents often become bullies.

So what's the answer?

The study, consistent with previous studies, found that when children have parents who share ideas and talk with them the rates of bullying go down.

It's that simple. Kids whose parents make time for them feel secure, loved, and comfortable with who they are. This means they don't feel the need to cover their sense of inadequacy and insecurity with a big tough front aimed at intimidating others. They don't feel a need to bully.

The study also showed that parents who spend time with their children are also likely to have met most or all of their child's friends, and this is also influential in whether their children bully others.

When we manage our emotions and behaviours toward our children well, spend time with them, and get to know their friends, our kids benefit with feelings of worth and value, security, and much more. They do better in life. And they treat others well.

Source: http://www.abstracts2view.com/pas/view.php?nu=PAS11L1_965