My eldest daughter reminded me of a valuable parenting insight this morning. After being asked several times to do something, I became exasperated with her. My tone changed.

"Will you please do what I asked you to do now?"

I was still being polite. My voice was still soft. But I was clearly frustrated.

My daughter responded, "You don't have to yell at me Dad."

"I didn't" was my defensive reply.

"It felt like it to me."

I was careful to not yell at my daughter. But my tone conveyed the same emotion as yelling. It indicated frustration, coercion, and a hint of disrespect toward her. And she felt it (and told me so).

One of the great challenges for parents is to see the world through their children's eyes. It would have been so much better if I had taken an extra moment to consider what she was doing, how she was feeling, and why it was taking so long for her to respond. I also could have considered whether what I was asking needed to be done immediately. Would I have been so dogmatic and persistent if it had been my wife or another adult?

When we are able to see things the way our children see them - through their eyes - we are able to respond to them with compassion, patience, and a good example. We are able to be sensitive to them. These are the responses that help them feel that they are of worth, valued, and important. These are also the responses that build resilience, confidence, capacity for emotional and behavioural regulation, and a range of other positive outcomes.

See the world through your child's eyes, and see the difference it will make in your family.