Source: http://www.timcoulson.com/

How satisfied are you with your life?

For the past thirty years, researchers have been asking that question, or variations of it, to adults around the world.

Life satisfaction is usually pretty high so long as you can afford your shelter, food, clothing, and other essentials. On a scale of 0 (most unsatisfied) to 10 (most satisfied), the average level of life satisfaction across 43 nations was 6.33, and Australians are usually around 7.5. Generally, we're pretty pleased with life. About three in ten people are 'very happy', one in ten is 'not too happy', and the other six in ten are 'pretty happy.

And it's the same with children. Generally, kids are in the 'mostly satisfied' to 'delighted' range, and these findings are reported in various nations, international studies, and even i nspecial groups. It's worth noting, however, that life satisfaction usually drops a bit around adolescence. Being a teenager can be hard.

So what is it that makes a child feel as though life is satisfying?

Here is a review of the research findings - and there's a big surprise at the end.

Personality

One of the biggest contributors to our children's happiness is personality. Research is abundantly clear that extraverted children with social skills are generally the most satisfied with life. Neurotic children (who struggle to regulate their emotions) are often the least satisfied. So greater emotional stability helps with life satisfaction.

Parents who make an effort to teach their children social skills (both by example and explicitly), and who encourage them to make friends and regulate their emotions, are likely to see their children feeling generally satisfied with their lives.

Health

It is probably not surprising that there are positive links between children's life satisfaction and their ability to run around and play. Researchers have consistently shown that participation in sports is linked with life satisfaction, while children who do not experience extra-curricular exposure tend to experience lower satisfaction in their lives. These extra-curricular activities teach skills, boost competence, often involve more social settings and exposure, and get kids active and engaged in life.

Parents can help their children develop greater life satisfaction by encouraging both structured and unstructured extra-curricular activities.

Aligned with this finding, kids who are 'healthy' are more satisfied with their lives than those who are not. It makes sense. If you consistently cannot be involved in activities you'll likely feel worse than if you are involved. If headaches are constantly keeping you in bed, it's hard to be satisfied with life.

Work

There is not a lot of research on this for children who do work around the home. But as our teens grow, research shows that they're more satisfied with their lives as they take on the responsibility of work. If you have teens, encourage them to get a part-time job.

Other important factors

Children who are hopeful and optimistic about the future have higher life satisfaction than those who are less hopeful, or pessimistic.

Children who believe they can do things (are high in self-efficacy) are more satisfied than children who feel like everything has to be done for them.

Children who have a set of standards (in relation to anything at all) and who are able to meet those standards tend to be much more satisfied with their lives than children who don't meet their personal standards. (In other words, being a perfectionist can be maladaptive, but expecting good things and working towards them - and achieving them - increases life satisfaction).

Children who have goals are more satisfied than those who do not.

Family function and structure

Research clearly shows that an intact, functioning family is the setting where children's life satisfaction will be highest. However, once families are no longer intact, or once families cease to function effectively (whether intact or not), life satisfaction decreases for children.

Siblings generally increase life satisfaction (so long as the relationships are healthy).

Social support is one of the BIGGEST determinants of children's life satisfaction. This is from friends and family. Good social support makes life satisfying.

Parenting style is also key. Children need parents who are supportive and involved (without being over-involved), but are also strict. And to complicate things for parents, while being strict they also need to be autonomy-supportive, meaning they need to let their children know that decisions are theirs! (Search 'autonomy' on this blog for ideas on how to do this effectivley). Parents who get this balance right are likely to have the most satisfied children.

Character Strengths

Kids who have an understanding of their character strengths tend to be more satisfied with their lives too, particularly when those strengths include things like hope, love, gratitude, zest, or even something more transcendent, like a sense of meaning and purpose.

There are loads of other factors that can impact on children's life satisfaction. Where they live, their sleep patterns, their experiences in relation to disability or other dysfunction, their exposure to violence, and even their religiosty impact on their life satisfaction.

The Big Surprise

As I was researching for this post, I came across some research that surprised me - and it's a powerful idea that every parent should know. In the particular study I read, the authors recognised the importance of many of the issues above for children's life satisfaction, and then they said this:

Parental self-regulation was associated with children's life satisfaction more so than any of the other factors that were considered in their study. In other words, self-regulated parents create a stable environment for their children - one in which their children are more likely to lead a satisfied life.

As parents, this put the responsibility for our children's life satisfaction firmly on our shoulders. And it seems that if we can effectively manage ourselves, our attitudes, our behaviours, our temper, our patience, and our compassion, humility, love, and kindness, then we are far more likely to have children who feel great about their lives.